{"product_id":"its-satan-bitch-unisex-t-shirt","title":"It's Satan Bitch Unisex t-shirt","description":"\u003ch3 class=\"mt-6 mb-2 font-semibold text-xl\" data-streamdown=\"heading-3\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"font-semibold\" data-streamdown=\"strong\"\u003eProduct Description - Satanic Worship™ Edition\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"font-semibold\" data-streamdown=\"strong\"\u003ePlot twist: It\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003ewas\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eSatan in the group chat.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know that moment when something unholy happens and everyone looks around like\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e“who did that?”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eYeah. It was Satan, bitch. And now he’s on a t-shirt, judging your life choices in electric blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"font-semibold\" data-streamdown=\"strong\"\u003eWhy this tee slaps harder than a fallen angel:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"list-inside list-disc whitespace-normal [\u0026amp;\u0026gt;li]:ps-6\" data-streamdown=\"unordered-list\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"py-1 [\u0026amp;\u0026gt;p]:inline\" data-streamdown=\"list-item\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"font-semibold\" data-streamdown=\"strong\"\u003eThe Fit\u003c\/span\u003e: 100% combed + ring-spun cotton, because Hell has a dress code and it’s\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003esoft\u003c\/em\u003e. Pre-shrunk so it won’t betray you like Judas. Side-seamed so it doesn’t twist when you’re doing the walk of shame out of a seance. 4.2 oz\/yd² — light enough for layering under a cloak, heavy enough to feel expensive when you’re sinning.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"py-1 [\u0026amp;\u0026gt;p]:inline\" data-streamdown=\"list-item\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"font-semibold\" data-streamdown=\"strong\"\u003eThe Graphic\u003c\/span\u003e: That blue goat-headed icon? That’s Satan’s LinkedIn photo. Stoic. Corporate. Ready to merge your soul. He’s not mad, he’s just disappointed you haven’t sacrificed anything cute lately.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"py-1 [\u0026amp;\u0026gt;p]:inline\" data-streamdown=\"list-item\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"font-semibold\" data-streamdown=\"strong\"\u003eThe Vibe\u003c\/span\u003e: For when you need to announce your arrival\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eyour allegiance. Wear it to brunch, court, your niece’s baptism. Watch priests cross the street. Watch your mom add you to the prayer list again.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"font-semibold\" data-streamdown=\"strong\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/span\u003e: Machine wash cold with your other sins. Tumble dry low, like your tolerance for organized religion. If it starts levitating in the dryer, that’s not a defect — that’s a feature. Do not iron. He\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003ehates\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ebeing pressed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"font-semibold\" data-streamdown=\"strong\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/span\u003e: Fabric is slightly sheer because transparency is Satanic. Also may cause spontaneous confessions from friends, unsolicited theological debates, and strangers whispering “yasss” as you walk by.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"font-semibold\" data-streamdown=\"strong\"\u003eSatanic Worship™ Sizing\u003c\/span\u003e: XS-2XL because Hell is inclusive, but the guest list is still selective.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDisclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Traceability:\u003cbr\u003e- Weaving—India, South Korea\u003cbr\u003e- Dyeing—El Salvador, California\u003cbr\u003e- Manufacturing—Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e• Contains 0% recycled polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Contains 0% dangerous substances\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAge restrictions: For adults\u003cbr\u003eEU Warranty: 2 years\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), \u003cb\u003eThe Devil's Crypt Pty Ltd\u003c\/b\u003e and \u003cb\u003eSINDEN VENTURES LIMITED\u003c\/b\u003e ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at \u003cb\u003egpsr@sindenventures.com\u003c\/b\u003e. You can also write to us at \u003cb\u003ePO Box 8222\u003cbr\u003ePERTH WA 6849\u003c\/b\u003e or\u003cb\u003e Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16 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